Gandhigiri

A recent tiff at home made me realise that I ain't a person who would give back in a fight anymore.

Have stopped reacting while someone is on about something, which is ticking me off but I don't want to get back cause I have reached the point where I feel that if I become a part of this and give my side of it as well it will never end!!

Now there are Pros and Cons to everything in life (unfortunately), apart from the usual pros like the argument ending sooner than expected et al.

But on the flip side it all cramps up within me. I have absolutely stopped taking when I am upset about something or when I am really really angry.

I have realised that all the anger and negative energy gets to me in one way or the other.

Either I get red with anger, or stomach cramps up, or head starts aching till I don't get it out or maybe I just cry it out or my body heats up (yeah that happens often).

A recent spat with my mum made me realise that I have another addition to the list, I can feel all the tension in my nails. zeesh it was crazy when I realised this, I mean how random and weird could I get.

Even in office, i rarely speak up when its needed, never stand up for myself cause I feel that it might just get the whole situation dirty and messy! So I just let it be. But after repeatedly conversations about me quitting the place with my HR head, I just get one statement no matter what I say. She just says "dude f**k all of this, f**k your theory of I don't want it to be messy, just talk it out and give it back, lets see how ugly it can get."
So yeah from now I am going to give it back and stand up for myself without thinking of the consequences.
Enough of Gandhigiri, time for some Dadagiri :)