iNsaNe----iNaNe

Iam sure no one has ever watched the news so intently, as much as we did in the past one week!!

The terror attack or whatever you call it, has surely shaken us all up. Imagine being stuck in your room in one of the most prestigious hotels in the country, hearing gun shots and grenade attacks, not knowing where to go or what to do. When you don't know whats awaiting you on the other side of the door, whether its the person who is going to shoot in the chest or save you from the bullets.

Last night I was watching a debate on NDTV, on the panel they had known faces from every field. The audience had survivors from the attack, and trust me each of them had such moving stories to tell.

Everyone whom I know, knows someone who was there during the attacks.

The newspapers, news channels, fm channels, facebook status' cant seem to get over this whole incident (thankfully) and are trying in some way or the other to not let this pass as just another thing that happened in Mumbai.

What's most ridiculous is the way some politicians have come out and made the most heartening statements. The Home Minister (state) got one dialogue straight out of the famous Bollywood movie, little did he know that this is no time to talk like King Khan.

Out of the many questions on every single Mumbaikar's mind is "where were the Thackeray's?"

The few politicians that did manage to come and show face didn't get a warm welcome either.

In fact even on the NDTV show yesterday with Barkha Dutt, none of the politicians were even ready to have a video conference and face a couple of questions from the audience, the only person who dared to come on the show was the Congress spokesperson who ended the show by calling the audience Hostile.

During those 3 days I remember getting up every morning and asking my dad to put on the news and tell me if it was over, coz if it wasn't then it meant yet another day off at work. It felt like I was checking the score during an Indo- Pak 5 day test series.

We did manage to come to work on Friday and trust me it wasn't quite a memorable day.

Half way through the day we got frantic calls saying that the terrorist's were out on the road in a white car shooting anyone and everyone in sight. None of us in office knew what to do, whether we should choose to stay back in office (not that we could concentrate) or get back home ASAP. Every time the door of the office opened it sent shivers down my back bone.

There have been innumerable candle marches and Peace rallies, but lets face it, what beyond all of this?? What are we going to do to change the F**ed up system governing our country. The celebrities on the show thought that not paying Taxes would surely change the way things are and the Financial Capital would be taken a little more seriously, after all we contribute 45% to the total tax of the country. But did we forget that not paying taxes would mean that we would have to pay a fine which is 100% your tax amount. So we would land up paying double the amount, so at that rate we would contribute 90% to the total tax payment of the country.

Mumbai's helplessness is as also known as the city's Resilience.

Its not the spirit of the city but a bout of Collective Amnesia.

I hope things do change and life does become a little safer for us to stay without the fear of being shot while walking on the streets of a city that "Never Sleeps."

I have always wanted to go to the Taj, but never managed to, I hope Mr Ratan Tata does restore it back to its old heritage structure which will have alot more stories to tell now.

IF

The One and Only thing that I really want, need and wish right now is a trip to London.

Not cause I love that city alot but because the one who means the most to me is in that part of the world.

There are moments and incidents in life when you hate the way life is going for you only because the most easy thing seems unattainable. When you really want to do something but cant cause of financial constraints or some other god forsaken damn reason.

This is worse when your life hanging is by just this one moment and you cant do anything about it as you are tied down.

The inability to get what you want and desire can cause such a mental imbalance (yeah i know I am getting too preachy)

Its been 2 years since I went to London to meet Ankita, and trust me these 2 years have flown. I remember the jitters we both had when I had submitted my papers for a visa as I was a bit skeptical on getting one and I did this after having a huge fight with you and wondering if you even make me stay with you. But it was worth the risk :P

The whole process of my parents agreeing on sending me to an unknown place alone just for one person, me sitting on an 8 hour flight. Now that was my first flight abroad and I was hoping that I would have some interesting company in the 2 seats next to me, but I landed up sharing my seat with an old Gujarati couple who didn't know Hindi, so I was the official translator for them, translating everything from apple juice to caramel custard (oh this needs another post altogether). The wait for my baggage ( 1 hour), to heading out and not recognising you, if it wasnt for your dad I would have stood at Heathrow for probably the next hour or so :) without any mode of communcation.

Overall the whole trip got us better with each day and trust me it was worth all the tension, drama and the rubbish that happened back home with my parents as none of the relatives approved of my Lonely Venture to a "foreign land" just to meet my best friend was just not digested by them. All this non sense didn't make even one percent of a difference once I was there with you.

All the random roaming on the streets of London without a Motive or destination made the journey even sweeter, every trip to your school was a pleasure and worth the walk in the winter, all the fights and arguments felt dismal as being there made it easier to solve them.


This is one the many moments when I ticked you off or embarrassed you by doing something stupid or crossing the road badly (like any Indian would lol ).

Listening for LOVE

How often do you confess your love to the one's that really make a difference.

Personally I find it very weird to go upto my dad or mum and say "I Love U."

Probably the only person I can say "I love you" without any reason or event and not feel funny about it is Ankita.

I was chatting with a childhood friend a couple of days and in the midst of a very serious conversation he told me that if someone doesnt say 'those three words' doesnt mean that they dont love u. He told me that if a close friend isnt talking to me doesnt mean that she doesnt love me anymore. They just convey their TLC through their actions. We kind of landed up arguing on this as I just didnt get the point.

I played this whole conversation over in my head yesterday and I realised how true this whole thing was and how most of us shy away from conveying our feelings through words and expect the other person to understand and interpret every action of yours.

There are moments when we really need to convey our feelings and need to tell the other person how much we love them, but there is this whole fear about expressing the love we feel.

We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say and the only one thing we should say is the one thing we dont say. According to me this is one of the most vital reasons why relationships fall apart.

People who were very important and meant the world to you at some point, no longer know what you upto just because you had lost the opportunity to hold it all together just by saying what you feel for them and what they meant to you.

But since the feeling is so strong and real, and the need to say it so high, we are driven to use other words and the meaning is never communicated the way we intend it to be conveyed.

The other person is left feelings unwanted and unloved.

Therefore we need to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us.

We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are alot more loved than we realise :)

cHange

Its my boss's last day tomorrow!!
For alot of people I know this may sound like good news cz they cant even stand the sight of their boss.

On the other hand it was a different ball game altogether in my office.

From the 1st day itself when I walked in for my interview shes been my guiding force, no matter what rapport I share with my Colleagues, she was one of the few reasons why I loved my jOb and looked forward to every single day at work.

I dont know how much of this she knew, but I am sure she knew that I was in aWe of her since the very beginning.

We didn't share alot of words, but it was just her presence that made work so much fun.

She followed the open door policy (literally). We could walk into her cabin as and when we wished if we wanted something or if we are just having a bad day.

We were told about her plans of moving on last Thursday and we were more than taken aback by the news as for a couple of us she was someone we looked up to and got inspiration from.

The whole thought of "omg what are we gonna do without her" was running on our minds through the day. We felt like a headless chicken running in a market full of people.

When she spoke to us about this we just couldn't hold back our tears :P

Its funny how we form a bond with people in no time and the way we react when the person is no more going to play the same pivotal part in your life.

This also made me realise how I much detest change (initially). I would kill for things to remain the same. But unfortunately as they say change is the only constant thing in our life.

I don't how much my perspective towards the job and the people at my work place is going to change, but I know one thing for sure Iam Going to Miss my Boss sorely.

Saying good bye is one the toughest things...

For me, Seventeen wouldn't be Seventeen without you!!!

I hope the break helps you sort it all out and you come back stronger.

All the best!

????

I have been wanting to blog about alot of things since a couple of weeks,

Have so much to talk about, whether its the guy at the gym or the graduation ceremony tomorrow and how everyone around me is running helter skleter just to make sure I look perfect or in general things happening on a day to day basis.

Life's been so different and amazingly awesome, want to write it all down.

But guess I am temporarily suffering from Writers Block, every time I sit down to type a post I never manage to put all my thoughts down in words.

I hope this phase passes soon as I really miss blogging.

Someone please advise me a remedy for this :)