Uncalled For!!

Since the past couple of days a colleague of mine has been showing eager interest in my relationship status..it is really funny and annoying at the same time because she doesnt know me that well..we arent tight friends..talk at work about work and leave as when we have to..i am trying to figure out what has invoked her interest in my love life..
earlier i thought she wasnt straight hahahhaahhaaha..but then one day we happened to talk about her (i got the topic out just to make sure she is straight) and she told me that she is seeing this guy since the past 6 years and all of a sudden my respect for her grew..
i mean how could she stand someone for that long :)
the next day we went to Sydenham for Brouhaha as we had sponsored the fashion show..
i went along thinking oh what if she needs my help..and trust me I regret that decision till date..
she tried to get me talking to every single (good looking) guy around..she even took the number of the winner of the fashion show and told him "oh, my colleague will get in touch with You." she very happily called me in the middle of the night to tell me this..
I really dont understand why she doesn't get the point that i don't want a relationship..have told her a hundred million zillion times..but guess that just makes her work harder towards getting me paired with someone..zeesh..Iam sure a couple of people around are hoping praying and wanting and waiting to get a saviour like this in their life ;)
I like a fool had told long back "nah i don't like anyone" and guess that's what has made her take this step..
i get scared to go for meetings with her also now..don't know when how and where she will start her search..

God bless me as Iam going to Bangalore with her the coming month.

Miss You!!

Love is such a funny little thing..it makes your whole world go round..

i believe that we all love very few people in life..the remaining others we "CARE" for..the few people we love could be a friend, best friend, parents, boyfriend/girlfriend..this one relationship means the whole world to us and all our life ka fundas are based on this one damn relationship..oh ya and when you are going through a tough time in this relationship then god bless the people around you..

To me This whole love relationship was with my best friend..i don't know how much i loved her but i know one thing for sure that i loved her with all i could..nothing or no one else mattered so much to me..the feeling was mutual..she loved me too..in life you come across certain people whom you feel like pampering and going out of your way to make them feel loved..she was someone i could never say NO to..

but it hurts alot when this one relationship goes hay wire cause of whatever reasons..my whole life went for a toss when we fought or just simply fell apart..we fought often and most of the times for very stupid reasons..there were a zillion times when we decided that this was it we cant anymore of each other..but it never really happened..'these fights' and 'those couple of days' away made us realise that we are an integral part of each others life..

she is away in London so now if we do fight..our phone bills go for a toss cause we need to get things back on track..there was a time when i called London and never had the balance to call people in Mumbai..

my friends found this whole relationship funny and complicated..lol..i also heard things like 'oh you guys are like a couple.' Loved to take that as a compliment, but it also showed that people have such a one track mind..

it hasn't been great between us since October for various reasons..and for the first time since 8 years i get this feeling that this is it!! I don't know if we are going to be the same, but i know one thing for sure..that i didn't leave a stone unturned..yeah it does hurt even now but i don't think there is much i can do..its like letting go of a part of me, i cant take the hurt..
there are many things unsaid and many promises broken..all that held the relationship together was the love that we had for each other..i have come to a phase where i have forgiven but the problem lies with forgetting..i just cant forget things..its always been a problem with me..forgiving comes easily but forgetting..naaah!!!

i do pray that we talk it out this time around as well and things get back to normal..but the distance is spoiling it even more..i wish we could be the same cause i really miss you and i cant stop loving you!!

Life is full of broken dreams and unkept promises!!

Smallest Things Matter Most

My phone screen is spoilt since the past one month, and its making life so much more difficult for me!!
Imagine NOT HAVING DISPLAY on your phone..
now iam among those people who keeps the phone around me most of time (i guess all of us do)
but iam those inquisitive kinds who wants to check the MSG as soon as the phone rings or get back to an unknown number!!
So now u can understand what big mess my life is in!!
I cant see any message that is sent to me..
I cant get back to any unknown number and find out who it is..
I probable might die of Inquisitiveness..
In fact all calls are unknown to me for the 1st couple of seconds cause obviously i cant see the number..
have also gotten abused a couple of times by friends for not recognising their voice..
I ain't one of those people who would remember numbers and Birthday's..rely completely on my phone for the two!!
so ya if i have to call people up i have to go on a hunt for their numbers..
just yesterday i wanted to call a group mate to fix a meeting for project work..now she isn't someone whom i call on a daily basis so i obviously dint remember her number..zeesh..
i cant even transfer my Sim into another phone and use for the time being as all my numbers are stored in phone memory :)
so it ain't going to help me either ways!!

but there is a sunny side to this!!
i save alot on messaging as i cannot message and if someone asks me why i haven't replied to their message all i have to do open the flap of my phone and show them the blank screen :) wicked i know!!

last week a couple of guys from college were harrowing me to return a jersey that i wore for the inter house throwball..
now i had no issues returning it but these guys wanted me to come to college at 7AM to give the t-shirt to them..i wouldn't go to college at that time even if i had a lecture then!!JERSEY??you kidding me..
so it also means that i cannot avoid unwanted calls..at any given time of the day!!

all of us are in a race to have a phone better than the other, we want a better camera, music player, Internet,,blah blah blah on the phone!!
but whats the use of all this if your screen is spoilt and Blank??

we look at the Bigger things and give them so much importance that the small things don't matter at all!!

Retrospection time

Its been 12 days since my parents have been away, and it seems like an eternity. Have learnt alot in these 12 days. This is the first time I was left alone at home for this long and trust me it has been an experience in itself.
The past 12 days been a series of funny as well as the most frustrating moments of my life.
The other day i went to get apples for myself as iam too bored to cook n blah blah. got 2 apples for Rs 25 and i thought i was being cheated by the hawker, like it was written all over my face that iam doing this for the first time, immediately called mum to tell her that iam being overcharged what should i do!!guess i freaked her out cause i called her for such a stupid reason but i dint want to feel cheated and overcharged.

Servant has been on a roll since mum has gone, comes at her own leisurely time in spite of me begging her to come early, does half the work and leaves.zeesh i hate her. oh ya and how could i forget she has 40 million questions waiting for me once i get back home from work. Now Iam one of those people who answer patiently but when I come home from work i want to be by myself at least for the first half an hour as Iam really edgy then and don't want to pick up a fight. But this ma'am refuses to get the point and has to ask me the lamest thing on earth in the loudest tone,sometimes I think I work for her lol.. darn what has my life come to!!

But the biggest thing that i have learnt in these 12 days is that i can survive alone, I don't i need someone to make sure i will be alright! A couple of my friends have been around most of the time but i guess i have realised that at the end of the day i want to be alone!! Could never imagine sleeping alone in the empty house,used to give me the freaks of my life. but now i guess iam more comfortable sleeping alone hahahahaha..

Now that mum dad are going to come back soon Its time to get back to normal routine again..phew i hate this..it takes me a couple of days to get used people not being around and it also takes equally long for me to have them around. I have got so used to staying by myself and doing the running around, was just getting used to it and now i have to adjust again..zeesh..i hate this about me..even with friends it takes me a little time to get used to them being around..
A couple of months back my best friend had come down from London and the first day i just couldn't look at her and talk. I remember we sitting at a coffee shop on the first evening after she landed and i was talking to her but looking around, was quite a sight, she actually had to ask me to look at her. So ya its that bad for me to get used to not having people around and then having them back again!!

Oh how could i forget, I also learnt whom i could on count in times of need (not people for sure).
Trust me i have got help from places it was least expected and I'am have been surprised at every moment. I Thank God every night for these few good souls.

A Buddhist monk came to college yesterday to give us a lecture on life and whatever he said made so much sense!!
the thing that he stressed on the most is
Self is the protector of Self.

i so connected with this cause this is what i realised in this phase!!

lesson learnt in these 12 days!!

God Bless You

Nana has been quite unwell since the last one month..mum dad have been to Bangalore twice in this month..i have stayed alone for almost half the month..and i suck at it..even if i look like i don't care and i ain't bothered the fact is that i cant stay alone at home at night..it freaks me out..so its been kinda tough when my servant cant come or there is no one around..

i thought i would be fine after a point..

but i don't think so..ma pa are leaving again today..got a call at 6 in the morning saying Nana passed away..have been awake since then arranging for tickets, tackling relatives, attending phone calls..its been a run already..and this is just the beginning..iam sure iam going to have a hard time cause iam staying back..

the last time ma pa went to Bangalore a couple of weeks back my relatives drove me crazy..

this time iam going to be alone for the next two weeks and have to juggle with college and job..and now family..

dad and me are trying to be normal..if we show one sign of sadness mum will break down..

iam so sure iam going to cry myself to bed today..

Its tough to be Tough after a point..

May You Rest In peace Nanaji..

God Bless You